| The stupid shit that is ruining my life: |
[Sunday, June 14th, 2009 @ 7:18pm] |
The last summer of my life basically and it is being ruined ruined ruined, by responsibility trying to knock on my door too soon. It's scary that adults only get two weeks of vacation a year. Not that I'm likely to have any sort of "real" job soon. Anyway, the real point is that this 1970's barbie dream mansion that we all live in is turning into one of the biggest hassles of my life.
To kick the summer off right, the owner of the house moved into our backyard in a giant bus that looks like Britney Spears should be living in it while on tour. This, combined with neighbors who apparently have hearing more sensitive than a fucking cat, means the fun level of the house has basically dropped from non-stop pool party to watching three movies a day and re-reading every book I have every enjoyed. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be riding my bike through the blazing sun to drop of job applications at places that aren't hiring and to interviews that never happen. The lack of money is amplified by the fact that about 2 weeks ago we just turned our air-conditioning on for the first time since moving in. Including 190 dollars for the electric deposit (which we won't get back for lack of living here a total of two years), the power leeched from the giant bus the landlord lives in, and turning on the AC, the total comes to just over 800 dollars. The landlord has agreed to split the bill 50-50 for as long as he is here, but I'm worried that since he was only here for part of the past billing period it might be hard to get a fair amount from him. Even after doing some impressive algebra and figuring out his share to be about 230 dollars, the seven roommates are still going to owe like 90 fucking bucks apiece, AKA the rest of my bank account.
As if this wasn't a big enough problem, the property manager and the landlord (who actually owns the house) did a walk-through a few days ago to see what repairs might be needed. I was under the impression that this was to locate routine damage done to the house by age so that the rather handy landlord could fix it while he was here, but apparently it was more like "since you broke a window and spilled tattoo ink on the carpet we're going to blame you for EVERYTHING ELSE wrong with the house, including things that were already fucked when you moved in as well as shit that's out of your control." Examples of the latter two include a light fixture that fell from the ceiling because it was so old that the glue fucking melted and the shower in the master bathroom overflowing with raw sewage because it's been clogged since we moved in. Now we're being threatened with eviction if we don't get the stains out of the carpet. I also forgot to mention that after we spent hours cleaning the house up for the walk through, they basically accused of us living in filth, merely because we hadn't scrubbed the toilets or showers of the soap scum and hard water deposits which have been there since BEFORE WE MOVED IN.
So now the air conditioning is back off, the landlord is still in the backyard, and I still don't have a job. I knew that live would eventually confront me with problems that beer can't solve, but I definitely wasn't expecting it so soon.
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| this is wack |
[Tuesday, May 19th, 2009 @ 1:37am] |
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music |
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buzzcocks - what do i get? |
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thic is fucking wack. i'm either bored or pissed off. i'm either lonely or my friends are all being ridiculous and dramatic. i'm either partying too hard or i have no social life and no purpose. how the fuck do i find a middle ground?
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[Friday, May 1st, 2009 @ 2:28am] |
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I've suddenly just realized how exciting moving to a new city is going to be, even if it's just another place in Florida. Usually when I think about this stuff I think about how long it will take to make friends, how I will deal with loneliness during that time, how I will adjust, etc etc, blah. Right now though it just seems fuckin' awesome, in the sense that even the worst new thing is usually better than almost anything old. Right now I have at least 8 more months living in Orlando. I guess you could say I'm sick of it, but that's not exactly accurate. Oddly enough, this weird, nearly cultureless, area around UCF has captured a tiny piece of my heart. It's just that I'm ready for something new. I'm ready to sacrifice being content for a bit of stimulation. Or at least I think I am.
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| TRUE STORY |
[Saturday, April 18th, 2009 @ 2:19am] |
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Last night at 2:19 am the battery fell out of my alarm clock and the clock was stopped at that time. Tonight without knowing what time it was I picked the clock up, put the battery back in, and upon checking the actual time so I could reset the clock discovered that it was exactly 2:19.
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| New Blog! |
[Monday, April 13th, 2009 @ 2:34pm] |
Since you all love reading my delightful prose, I am cluing you in on this wack ass new blog I'm starting
http://gayfailblog.blogspot.com/
It's kind of like a clusterfuck of uninformed amatuer queer theory, without the benefit of having read actual queer theory myself. I'm disabling comments here because I hope people will comment on the blog itself and start some sort of dialogue about why they think it is good or totally dumb and possibly offensive. If you have a website or blog (preferably queer, political, arts or culture related) and you want to trade links let me know in an email or something. I'd really like to have some awesome stuff in the links section.
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| beer pong with high schoolers |
[Sunday, March 15th, 2009 @ 3:26pm] |
man. never play beer pong with those dang high school kids. Last night my little brother was in town and I played 10 cup beer pong with two of his friends. I think maybe high school kids dont know youre only suppose to put a little bit of beer in each cup because some of those seemed almost half fucking full. I was shithoused extreme, but me and Jason Lewis owned that shit and handed the youngsters their butts on a platter, resulting in some vomiting for one of them. The other one actually wasn't even drinking, she was just playing and making her team mate drink all the beer on his own, the poor dude! No wonder he vomited. Also, did I mention the keg was BLUE MOON. Pretty tasty but starts getting fucking gross when you have to chug it.
Then I had to wake up and do FNB and it was pretty damn brutal on my poor bod. I vomited later at the serving, and when I got home kelly let me know that in the middle of the night I got up and peed on my floor next to the computer. Genius
Kelly is super sick right now with a fever. Hope she's OK.
...
We have chickens.
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| reading week (part one) |
[Thursday, March 12th, 2009 @ 9:41am] |
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Harvest of Hope was awesome. It was probably at least twice as awesome as I was guessing it would be. It's just fucking good to get out of the house for awhile. People just act differently when they are travelling. Social interactions get switched into high gear, so when you have thousands of people camping together in this super social mode its easy to make friends and feel like humanity doesnt suck etc.
Of course I get back and immediately get sick. I'm mad to be sick during spring break and yet I guess I should be glad it happened after HOH? Pretty much everybody in the house has the same thing. It's like sore, froggy throat with phlegm, runny nose, plus headache and all over body ache. I've been taking vitamin C, Echinacea, Publix brand Nyquil Equivalent and sleeping from 9PM to 8 AM.
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| collage and black heads |
[Monday, March 2nd, 2009 @ 1:02pm] |
At the culmination of my college career, one of the highest level classes I will take has assigned me the project of making a collage which expresses my feelings about an issue. Unfortunately, the only magazines I have are two copies of Adbusters, two copies of Penthouse, and one copy of Campus Talk.
Also, last night I had this dream that I was popping blackheads and that white stream of pus that comes out of them got to be over a foot long. Of course insteads of breaking it off I just ran around showing everyone.
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| weed and chickens |
[Thursday, February 26th, 2009 @ 7:29pm] |
last night at 12:30 I ate a weed brownie. It was so strong that when I woke up at 8:00 am I was not only still high, but so very high that I didn't think I could even make it to class because I was weaving everywhere I walked as if I was drunk. I went back to sleep and woke up at noon, but still felt a little high. At 1:30 I had a midterm worth 40% of my grade and the whole time I was still getting waves of sensation through my legs. Eating brownies always gives me a body high like that. Lucky by then my head was clear enough that I think I did OK on the test.
I found out today that I probably can't have chickens. I asked our property manager about it two weeks ago and he made it sound like it was fine, now he's done a complete 180 and swearing that it's illegal and absolutely prohibited. He said that when I asked him if I could do it he didn'ttake me seriously and that was why he hadn't said no. The fucking pool guy who is HIS OWN FRIEND that he just hired to clean the pool told him that I already had the coop built (which is true, and its a fucking awesome coop!) and then he freaked out and called the roomates and started making up all these bullshit reasons why having chickens is unsafe, and claiming that if somebody caught a disease from them the property owner would be liable. I don't see how that works. If Jeff's dog got rabies and gave it to a neighbor the guy who owns the house wouldnt be responsible, but somehow with chickens its different?
I don't understand the world. It's considered more normal to buy eggs at a supermarket that have travelled hundreds of miles to get there and been produced by chickens kept in deplorable conditions than it is for me to humanely produce my own sustenance right in my backyard. Shit is fucking backwards as hell and I'm pretty sick of it, and frustrated because I feel like there's nothing I can do. Not just about this, (obviousky there are far greater injustices occuring daily) but about all the stupid laws in the world that keep people from doing what they want to even in situations that don't affect anybody but themselves.
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| Eggs |
[Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 @ 11:50am] |
Me and Kelly are thinking of building a chicken coop in the backyard to get some eggs. Here are some terms from the glossary of backyardchickens.com that are interesting/unsettling.
Vent: The outside opening of the cloaca, through which a chicken emits eggs and droppings from separate channels. (dats right people! their butthole and vagina is one opening!)
Blowout: Vent damage caused by laying an oversize egg.
Pasting: Loose droppings sticking to vent area, also known as "pasting up" and "sticky bottoms".
Pickout: Vent damage due to cannibalism.
Let's all cross our fingers that my chickens have healthy buttholes.
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| I lost my purple gym shorts! |
[Wednesday, January 28th, 2009 @ 12:29pm] |
I lost my purple gym shorts and I am going insane! Nothing can compare to them. Comfortable to wear, and yet stylish! Loose like boxers, and yet without the social stigma of walking around in underwear! Perfect and functional for casual wearing around the house, and yet aggresively cut above the knee!
When will this torture end? Lord, bring me back this most esteemed item of leisure wear!
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| my dumb life |
[Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 @ 11:45pm] |
my life is pretty OK right now. I feel pretty well adjusted to not having a working computer of my own. If I didn't need one for school and photoshop I might consider not getting a new one.
My roomates and myself are thinking of moving into this 1970's dream mansion on six acres of wooded land. it sounds pretty bourgeois for sure (it's also pretty fucking awesome/perfect) but we're going to have enough people living there that the rent will only be like 50 bucks more than what I'm paying now, and still over 100 less than what I payed for 3 years to live in a tiny ass apartment at "pegasus landing." Cross your fingers and light some incense in your shrine in hopes that our current landlords won't make it sound like we're the renters from hell if/when the Realtor calls them.
I have these two projects for school that I'm not stoked about. One is called a "book trailer" and the other is a weekly journal about what I'm learning in film theory class, worth 60% of my final grade. retahdud.
my eyes always hurt
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| ummm |
[Monday, October 6th, 2008 @ 1:27am] |
i've been making dream catchers all day with friends. It's surprisingly easy and absurdly fun. there are a bunch of them hanging from the light fixture in my living room and they look awesome.
last night kelly cut her foot on some shards from a lamp that i left in a plastic bag on my floor and it wouldn't stop bleeding unless she was laying down with the foot a little elevated. even this morning it as still bleeding unless in this position. ("this morning" for us is actually around 1pm) but yeah it isnt bleeding now and she can sit up or stand on her other foot but if she stands on the cut one it rips open and goes crazy. my bathroom looks like a crime scene!
we went to red lobster and she had to hop in on one foot while I helped her so she wouldn't fall. our waitress had tiny malformed hands with really smooth looking skin. if you don't know that i love red lobster you probably don't know me.
that being said, it still wasn't as awesome as the family dinner we had on friday with salad and stouffers vegetable lasagna and a really niiiiiiez fucking chocolate cake. plus i pretty much learned how to make red lobster style cheesy biscuits and that's half the reason to go there. the other half is crab legs and I can't really afford that anyway. its more fun to eat dinner at home with your friends!
i made a dumb video for a class and its on youtube. my channel is www.youtube.com/partysummer07
remember this my friends: you may be stuck falling asleep in some super boring class in october 2008, but it can always be party summer 07 in your hearts!
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[Sunday, August 17th, 2008 @ 8:17am] |
Since my last entry, oh faithful-est of readers, much has happened.
In a stir-crazy frenzy of wanderlust, my trusty companion and I booked pricey last minute tickets to the far end of the country, Portland Oregon. An alluring city, which was uncharacteristically hot during our stay, Portland boasts such a plethora of subcultures as to render itself almost boring. The general populace there are so hit over the head by liberal democracy that they seem to have stopped caring, stopping their daily lives only long enough to agree with each other about how awesome Obama is. Public transportation is great, but why bother paying 2.50 each way when the city is so bike friendly anyway? The punks there are all on food stamps and can't really afford to eat at the vegan bakeries or shop at the thrift stores, which are overpriced and devoid of that really choice find, thanks to over-milking by hipster "vintage" shop scavengers (who are just trying to eke out a living like anyone else, so I can't really blame them).
At the end of the day though, everybody is just ready to put aside their differences, and gather outside the local organic food co-op for a good ole fashioned square dance. Nothing says community like elderly liberal yuppies trading dance partners and do-see-doing with traveling punks who haven't bathed in 3 weeks.
But alas! I over simplify. I probably shouldn't make so many sweeping generalizations about the people of a town that I only spent 17 days in.
Anyway, here are a few photo highlights from the trip.
Since coming back I have moved into my new place, a delightful half duplex in a quiet little cul-de-sac affectionately nicknamed "blunt street," the house in question being nicknamed "21 bluntstreet" though I doubt any of the residents are very familiar with the show, and as of late there has been talk of changing the name to dump street, haha! A little joke I came up with, showing my scathing wit as always. Two nights ago we had a party which amounted to three kegs, three stolen bikes, and somebody tagging the inside of our house as if it were a common brick wall in some ghetto.
I would ennumerate in more detail about this and other drunken occasions, but a literal shitstorm is about to exit my ass, and I do not even believe that there is any toilet paper readily available.
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| Summer is here! |
[Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 @ 12:32am] |
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and the unthinkable has happened.
that is, I find myself not really wanting to leave orlando. This is a grievious developement which I fear will have far reaching consequences into my FUTURE. Undoubtedly I will wait too long to go anywhere fun and start feeling trapped. This is just my mind fucking with me, and only letting me want things that I can't have. Now that classes aren't going on to keep me stuck here I suddenly don'tmind the place at all. I still hate east orlando, I just have almost no problem with being here.
I am overstimulated, constantly. Drinking, sex, hanging out, repeat repeat repeat, punctuated by absurd sidetracks which tend to involve swimming or getting dirty. I find myself ignoring what my friends are saying, and falling completely silent whenever I'm in a group larger than three or four people. Every night is a motherfucking party. The more I get to know some of my friends the more they seem like strangers, and I know so many fucking people that I've become unfriendly and practically refuse to bother talking to anybody that I don't know.
Are these stupid things to complain about? Don't answer that question.
My life is awesome, I just feel like I never do anything productive.
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[Sunday, March 16th, 2008 @ 1:43pm] |
i missed pi day and st. patricks day.
yesterday i barfed 7 times.
spring break is over, but i'm finally so sick of drinking, and my body is so exhausted, that this kind of makes me glad.
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| dont give me free taco bell and tell me its mcdonalds!!! |
[Monday, March 10th, 2008 @ 5:53pm] |
ummmwhatttt
GOTOTHIS
its gonna be awesome
in other news i was watching the space shuttle launch from my friends car going 80 miles an hour trying to get to the beach in time to see the launch that was happening already and i thought it was a good idea to stick my head out the sunroof to get a better look. my glasses flew off of my head and i yelled "OH MAN MY GLASSES ARE GONE"
then when we got to the beach ten minutes later our friends were already leaving except for one who stayed and we drank beers on the beach and slept there: TOTALLY AWESOME
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